1) I read a lot of blogs. A lot. 99% of them are mommy blogs - learning how other people do things, what is going on with their lives, etc. I realize that this is somewhat hypocritical - since I never do it myself. Why do I like reading blogs? Well, at the end of the night, it's relaxing and nice to know I'm not the only one juggling a child and working. Or a child and doing all the other things mommy's want to do. I don't read them if the don't portray a normal life. This means, if everything in your blog is positive, this isn't real life. It's just not.
2) I hate the winter. And not just because it's cold....because it's also very depressing. I used to like it, I know I did. This winter is particularly tough and I'm not sure why. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning to go to work and I don't really want to just stay home either. There is nothing that I want to do. I just want to lay around. I know this isn't healthy and I"m hoping that this passes in a month when there are longer months. Also, I think having Josh home more in a month or two and having some fun things to look forward to in a "nearer" future will help.
3) Can I just say...I'm in a love/hate relationship with The Bachelor. I wish I wouldn't have hooked myself in to the show.
4) I may have found the
5) Every day I struggle with the decision to stay home or not. I can't decide. I don't think I'll ever know the right answer. That being said, every day I see her and realize how much older she looks, how much she's growing, etc...I know that I'm probably not doing the right thing for myself and my family. I know I'm going to regret it. I always feel like I'm running behind, there is never enough time in the day to do both jobs and keep the house up and enjoy her...without being a mess sometimes. I'm behind on her baby book, I dont' have patience for the dog, our house is "tidy" but not deep cleaned, I don't hug my husband and give him attention enough even when he is around, and I don't cook. I love cooking. I love good meals - and instead we are eating out of boxes and frozen food 90% of the time. All in all - I'm stressed. And it's my own fault. However, trading in this stress for financial stress still seems like the better option for me...and it's probably not the right option given that Josh will do well and we won't have to worry about money. Yeah, we might not have the "house of our dreams someday" but does that matter? Me taking a step back can allow him to do whatever job he wants and not have to do something he hates because he has to work 8-5. Ugh. Tough stuff.
6) We are going to a birthday party this weekend and my parents are driving 2 hours to take care of Grace. I love that. That being said, it starts at 8pm. How am I going to stay up that late!
Alright - a TRAINwreck of thoughts. But part of my internal goals this year is to write more. I love looking back at posts and wish I'd do a better job. So - here I am!
No comments:
Post a Comment